Gaia Community: Red Dragon's Blog

Broadcasting live stream (for the most part)

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 14:10:13 GMT

Greetings,

I've been working on my A/V Production for two years now. I have most of the kinks and glitches resolved.

you are welcome to join my program;
http://reddragonfreepress.com/usttream.html

The service I am using;
http://www.justin.tv/ajwhitewolf

This morning 3.1.09 until 12 CST
Spiritual Music

live music from local open mic, broadcasted on site
thursdays 8pm CST

currently working on a saturday evening "austin city limits" type of show from Madison Wisconsin.

I hope you enjoy the programming.
take care
Red Dragon

Tags: audio video music entertainment spiritual spiritua

OPPORTUNITY TO DONATE FOR MY FUND RAISER

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 13:28:41 GMT

ARI JOHN WHITE WOLF

ELECTRONIC BENEFIT

RAISING FUNDS FOR ADAPTIVE TECHNOLOGY FOR SERVICE DOG AND FRIEND “HERMES”

ON SEPTEMBER 9, 2008

THERE WAS A CONCERT WITH FRIENDS CALLED

SONGS FROM THE JOURNEY

IT IS LOCATED AT:

HTTP://AJWHITEWOLF.COM/INDEX.HTML#ARI

FOR ANYONE WHO CAN AFFORD IT

A PAYPAL DONATION BUTTON IS THERE TOO

Tags: music, love, benefit, disabled, marine, veteran

My Concert on September 19,2008

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:24:57 GMT

Greetings,

I have finally put a concert together. This show was incredible and magick was definitely there. I hope you follow the link. give me some feedback on the music.

http://ajwhitewolf.com/index.html#ARI

Peace
Red Dragon

Tags: Ari John White Wolf and Friends

My Concert September 19

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 12:50:29 GMT

IN CONCERT SEPTEMBER, 19 2008

ARI JOHN WHITE WOLF AND FRIENDS
SONGS FROM THE JOURNEY

Americana Folk with an Urban Flare

CONTEMPORARY COVERS AND ORIGINAL MATERIALS

FREE ADMISSION | NO COVER CHARGE
DONATION BASKET TO BE PASSED DURING SHOW

IN CONCERT SEPTEMBER 19, 2008

UNITY OF MADISON
601 TOMPKINS DRIVE
MADISON WISCONSIN

SHOW STARTS AT 7PM

PERFORMERS

ANGELLA SMITH | CINDY HARRINGTON | TOM ZOGRAFI | RONNA | DIANNE

http://ajwhitewolf.com/

Tags: music, madison, wisconsin

A few days after being crazy

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 02:30:40 GMT

I have been on my new medications now for a few days. Things are definitely getting better. I'm not so out of control anymore. I know that I am nowhere near a sold baseline yet. But I am also realizing that I feel much better than only a few days ago.

I am thinking about researching getting a certified service dog. I have some difficulties with mobility and think that a well trained dog could help me. The biggest thing is I think with a dog around my ptsd symptoms might be less severe. I can rely on the dog rather than be hyper vigilant.

Besides when people see you with a dog. They generally leave you alone. I'm not sure the steps to take on this. It would be for more than just the physical help. I've put two dogs down in the last few years. I also had to give my last one up because he wasn't certified. I really think this adds a lot to my depression.

I'm going to discuss this in my next group meeting. In my current living situation. I can't have a dog unless it is certified.

I felt it important to write the last blog and this one. So that the variables of my frustrations can be shared.

Tags: depression, p.t.s.d., post traumatic stress syndrome, disability, service dog

Madness of a Dragon

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 23:07:41 GMT

I am having a truly rough time today. My P.T.S.D. is probably flaring up a bit. I have experienced a few rather severe panic attacks today. I am very stressed out right now. I am rather upset that my phone company sold my information. Now my phone number and name are published. I didn't realize you have to tell them you want that private. Since when did people become a commodity? my information was given out.

Why am I so upset? because I was an instrumental element in putting a couple of people in prison. I have had my life threatened. Now my name and phone number are public. This in turn can be tracked down to an address. I'm not feeling to safe at the moment that is for sure.

Last year I was falsely arrested for a crime I wasn't responsible for. My ex got physically violent with me. I fought back for once rather than defending myself as I usually did. They locked me up in jail for three days. Took all my clothes from me. the conditions of the jail was far less than sanitary. body excretions on the walls. I ended up in therapy for this mad experience. I never went before a judge either. but yet my name and address now shows up on a state website.

I am currently working on a plan to move away from here. Where I will move to I am not sure. What I do know is this. There are far to many variables stacked against me in my current location. I'll probably have to stay relatively close to where I am now. Currently I have litigation's with the Veteran's Administration for Service Connected Disability. I have physical injuries. In addition to my injuries, I reacted to smallpox vaccine in boot camp. I immediately came down with severe flu symptoms. I have been sick to this day. Just this year I was diagnosed with p.t.s.d. I didn't even know what it was. but when tested they knew it for sure.

I am in therapy at Veteran's Hospital in madison. I do have to say it is ok as far as hospitals go. I feel like a child sometimes with the way some of them treat me. But for the most part I do get some level of respect. Right now my meds are off baseline. I have been taking half a pill of a medication. so that I can get off it in another week. This was ordered by the doctor by the way. They also ordered another med for me to be on. It took me a week and a half to finally get the medication. I just took it about an hour ago. This med takes time to establish itself. I do have group tomorrow, so I'll be ok. Then on monday I have another group too.

I just needed to express some of the crap thats going on. I'm fairly frustrated and I know I'm not on a baseline yet. Doesn't make the panic attacks or anxiety any less severe. My Jaw is so tight right now that I can barely think. I saw a rheumatologist today for pain management. on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being most severe. I am at a 7-9 on any given day. The pain never goes away. It has been this way since 1982.

thanks for listening

Tags: panic attakcs, ptsd. post traumatic stress disorder, illness, mental health

what you believe is wrong, what I know is right

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 15:15:37 GMT

The image above is a representation of some posters on zaadz. This is what happens when dogma says your way is wrong.

Recently there was a post in a pod it said "calling all mystics." The title intrigued me, so I went to read the various posts. At the time I hadn't picked up on it. This post was more of a clever little advertisement for a group on msn groups. The person posting decided to tell other mystics that they must do something. A dangerous path to take.

Initially I responded to this post. I shared some of the powerful aspects of spirit. The reality of things that go beyond head knowledge. Philosophy, and Theology are nice. Most often those systems stomp out the creative aspects of G-d. This frustrates me a lot. Often people think of G-d in the black and white world that they project. G-d in my opinion is not left or right brained. If we are in the image of spirit. Then I think that spirit definitely has the same duality of the logic and creative. If this didn't happen I doubt the big bang would have ever happened. Spirit would have never said "let there be light."

The thread I speak of at first glance. Represented mystics and their experience. After Someone thanked me for my entry on that thread. I followed the link and read some of the posts. I am amazed how many people expect others to adapt their philosophy. This is just wrong and dangerous in my opinion. Rather than speaking of their own mystical experiences. Some rigid religious doctrine was inserted. Telling people what they need to do or believe. Even the initial poster of this thread gave orders on how to be a mystic.

Mankind is connected better than ever before. News travels in minutes rather than days or months. One can talk to a relative on the other side of the globe while both are in a park. But we still can't come together and meet in the middle. We don't have to all think alike. That is fundamentalism. A draconian form of thinking that many Americans pretend to not be a part of. I speak for Americans because I am not intensely familiar with other nations.

I rarely tell others "you must do this." It is an arrogant position to take. to decide what is best for other peoples paths. Zaadz message is "out to change the world." I fear even this motto. I do understand what Brian and fellow zaadzters meant by this. The problem is it in itself could become a rigid form of thinking. Telling others how to change the world. Rather than inspiring one another how to make their communities better.

This is why I am single today. Every time I try to date someone. They want to control my mind and spirit. Telling me how to think. Rather than just coexisting and appreciating each other. Just two days ago I was in a chat room. A guy sent me a private instant message. I gave him my links for my music. He immediately started telling me how he could make it better. He had no music experience. Did not perform in public. Never took the time to learn an instrument. I doubt he even would have had the stamina to rehearse daily. Yet he still thought himself an expert on the topic.

A person with no experience, has no right to tell another. That what they are doing is wrong. That those feelings and experiences are rooted in devils and hell. These same people generally follow the teachings of Jesus. Problem is, they haven't taken the time to look at the gospels. To see that he both was mystical, and told others they could be as well. If Jesus were around today teaching such things. Those who claim to be followers, would have hung him instantly. These types destroy others spiritually. Jesus had to make a bunch of holy believers to leave the room. They didn't want to believe that he had the ability to do a miracle. I find that odd. That A Christian, which means to be Christ like. Doesn't believe in the awesome power of Spirit. G-d can do anything with anyone. So Please get off your high horse and let spirit work in others. Leave them alone, you won't have so many arteries blocking up inside your body.

It happens spiritually in conversation. you mention something that happened in spirit. Then that person craps in your ear, telling you it wasn't real. Just because they never experienced it with G-d. This modern dogma is the downfall of man. When will we learn that this is why war exists? Could this be a major reason that we are in the middle east right now? Forcing our ideals on another nation or sovereign country? No matter how you look at it. we have implemented a modern Coup on them for our own selfish interests. That is the problem with folk who want to make others believe their way. Self centered narcissistic high chair tyrant believers end up attacking others.

I've witnessed some of the more subtle approaches too. Recently I spoke of some of the variables between Israelis and Palestinians. A poster responded with her political beliefs. Rather than what I was speaking about. That the average Israeli and Palestinian wasn't at war with each other. It was based on a friend's opinion after she lived there. I doubt the responder was ever in the middle east. But seemed to be an expert on the topic. I had to remove the comment. It was more a political statement than an thoughtful response.

I've noticed this trend. People posting their opinions on what others are saying. Generally ignoring the questions or expressing how they are. Instead they would rather tell another how wrong they are. Welcome to your war. Go ahead and destroy each other. But please, don't ask how we got to that destruction.

Peace and Blessings
*Totally glad I have a mystical experience, nope you can't take that away*
Red Dragon

Tags: religion, spirituality, beliefs, core values, core beliefs, doctrine, dogma, fundamentalist, fundamentalism, draconian, rigid thinking

Jealous Stage Hogs

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 19:31:18 GMT

I have been recording Video now for most of the year. I had quite a few bugs to work out in the process. A few minor tweaks and I think I can massively increase the sound quality. Right now the built in mic does ok for its purposes. But the sound quality is almost tin can sounding. which I hope to get away from.

What I am forever amazed at is how bizarre people get when the cam is out. Even if I don't have the camera turned on. They still react in a different pattern. They basically stop being themselves. Pretending to be that aspect that they see themselves as. Which in some cases can be totally off base. What I am most trying to figure out is why they become monkeys creating a problem.

This last sunday I was trying to help a friend. Her business has been slower than it could be. So I offered to record her sunday entertainment at Bab's Restaurant. She thought that was an awesome idea. So I started recording at the tail end of their performances. Because I had prior engagements to attend to. After I got all set up and started recording. One of their friends came up and asked what it was about. I had already asked the musicians if it was ok. But he was acting all protective and overbearing. I told him it was for promoting Bab's music on Red Dragon Free Press. He immediately shouts at them while they are performing "hey you're gonna be on YouTube." I wanted to smack him. I held back and bit my tongue. I wonder what his reaction would have been. If I had said "ok you want to be a clown, go ahead." then turn the cam on him. frustrating part is he ruined one of their songs. I can't put that up in good conscience. it takes away from the musician and is very disrespectful in my opinion.

I have seen a similar phenomenon at open mic's. Clearly there was an alternate shorter route. But participants can't wait for their fifteen minutes. They walk between the lens and the performer playing. This is rude and total lack of professionalism. When these people pull these stunts. I generally have to skip that particular segment.

As a Videographer, I am begging you the reader. Please respect the performers/subjects integrity. Keep from talking loud and over the activity. Allow the Producer to capture that particular aspect of history. Without any antics or interruptions.

Tags: Video, Shooting, production, history, performance, art, music, entertainment, film, musician, Jealous

Western slanted core beliefs on Israelis and Palestinians

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 17:55:24 GMT

I recall back in the early 90s a discussion on the evening news concerning peace talks. It was between the Palestinians and the Israelis. I was with a Jewish friend of mine who was a U.S. Citizen. She had spent some time living in Israel. The question was simple. Is that possible? Peace in the Middle East.

My friend helped me to understand some things about fundamentalism. She said that when she was there. the average Jew and Palestinian. Hang out at the same coffee shops, and various venues. She said for the most part they live in harmony. She went on to explain that the common people were not at war. It was the extreme factions who had fundamentalist views. that created both the friction and war. The average person in those regions. Would rather that the fighting go away.

I was grateful for her opinion on this. It made a lot of sense too. I get very tired of American's who rely on the media machine. To spew out propaganda that is fairly inaccurate at times. yes there are factions on both sides that are extreme. Fundamentalism of any kind is a dangerous rigid path. Even thinking that every Jew or Palestinian are at war. That is a form of fundamentalism.

This entry is the result of a pod entry. that asked how zaadzters deal with disagreement. Someone got on the tangent that both sides are at war. this is not true. It is extreme factions of those core values that have programed things to happen. I am sad that we still have this form of rigid thinking around. It is the greatest cause of war. Spin Doctors manipulating others to believe things that are not true.

Peace and Blessings
Red Dragon

Tags: disagreements. Jew, Israel, Jewish, Palestinian, West Bank, Gaza Strip, Peace, middle east, fundamentalism

Discussion: What does LGBT need Spiritually

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:19:25 GMT

Greetings

I am getting ready to put a project together at my local interfaith church. They are gay affirming. because they don't believe in anything that seperates people from their higher power. I have Studied hard for twenty years. On various topics concerning philosophy and religion. I have found from the Bible to Japanese culture, and onto native american. That there were always lgbt spiritual people. Currently I have thirty thousand words on the topic. I plan on publishing this at some point.

I have some questions for you the LGBT community.

1. what would you like to have available to you in a church?

2. do you have any ideas or suggestions for this project?

3. what is your opinion on being LGBT and belief?

4. Do you personally feel centered or fragmented?

I'm going to try and keep this simple as possible. Opening it up to the rest of you to make your own suggestions. If there is anything I didn't cover. Please! post it. My interfaith church is about many paths leading to spirituality. it isn't concerned with evangelism or control. There was an LGBT program that kept getting smaller until it disappeared. The program was called "recovery." I don't know about you, but that term is offensive to me. It implies that lgbt are a mess. not everyone is a mess. yes there are many who do fragmented things. those are individuals who may have been hurt by society, family, or religious institutions. End result is acting out. Hurting the ones who love us the most.

The other side of it is there are intensly spiritual homosexuals. People who are bright and brilliant. This last sunday Spirit gave me five slots. Two in the morning service. Three in the later morning service. I know my purpose and my call. It is to serve. I have been to the bottom. But I have also been to the top. So I feel that gives me the authority to sing about these things. In both services I played an original song. It is called "peace be still." then did two spirituals. for all the songs I played my guitar. I just started learning guitar a year ago last november 2006.

I'm getting off track here. Won't you help me to help others find their own peace? or express the joy they have? let me know your opinions on this topic.

Peace and Blessings

Red Dragon

*postscript: LGBT means Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and trangender. please forgive me for this oversight. I assumed to much by typing LGBT without an explanation.

Tags: Gay, Lesbian, transgender, trans-gender, bisexual, bi-sexual, spiritual, religion, belief, church, interfaith

Time to make the change...

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 17:28:29 GMT

My purpose for over twenty years now has been to be a servant of heaven and earth. I have always known this. Even as a small boy in a home that was purely hedonistic. what I mean by this is. My childhood was consumed with sensationalism. "whatever felt good" seemed to be the consensus of the seventies. Even during all that, I talked to Spirit. Spirit comforted me during my times of being abused.

My studies have taken me on some amazing journeys. I also know that this is a continuous cycle. I understand now more than anything else. Suffering, anger and strife. I had to experience these situations. so that when I sing about them. I can speak and sing with authority on the topics. A year ago I would not have told you I was blessed. I thought that life sucked. That mankind was an awful institution of pain and malice. I no longer feel this way. I have since learned that the actions of an individual is evil. I no longer feel that people in general are evil. I came to the conclusion that mankind was on an awful course of action. Then I discovered that there were deeply religious and spiritual people.

I was a solitary for years. I considered organized religion to be detrimental to growth. My experience was with fundamentalism. So I assumed that they all had strains of fundamental beliefs within them. I have since learned that that was a narrow view of belief.

I am also going to go back to my book I was writing. This is a work that needs to be completed. In it are many hidden and obscure biblical doctrines. To include the sexuality of mankind. So often society and religion have destroyed those whose orientation is LGBT. It is time to complete the work. To date there is approximately thirty thousand words. Covering faith, hope and love. I show examples of same sex relationships in the biblical context. As well as expose the mistranslated Levitican concept that bans same sex activities. I have found in the root words of that passage. that it says quite another thing than the English translation.

quite simply it is this. The English translation: "you shall not lay with a man as you would with a woman, it is an abomination." The Hebrew implies that Leviticus is for the priests of the Jews. The common Hebrews did not practice the Levitican codes. The common believers followed the book of Deuteronomy for direction. which repeats Leviticus almost word for word. The difference? That particular Levitican principle is dropped. Why? because it was for the priests who were involved with the rituals of the temple. A common practice for that time period was sex slaves. Temples of other beliefs and religions used male and female sex slaves for the benefit of the temple. The Levitican scripture is basically telling the Levitican priests. Don't practice this form of funding. It is an abomination. The word abomination is also interesting. It is mostly connected with rituals and utensils or garb for the holiness of Israel. It is rarely used outside of religious rituals, other than having an idol in the home.

Those are just some of the concepts I have written about. I plan on writing possibly in another book about my life story. I also plan on writing about various articles. Such as faith, hope and love. These are all very important. In addition simple living. Also the importance of religious individuals learning to vote for the good of all. Rather than a candidate that supports their individual agendas. It is time that religious and spiritual peoples. Stopped getting locked into rigid doctrine. laws that come to pass that are fueled by a minority. creates a lot of apathy and dissatisfaction in government.

So I am going to start working on raising the funds needed. Then self publish my book. I Think it is needed very much. In addition I think it is time to record, and publish my first CD/DVD. I am going to get going on weaving my peace baskets for the cause. In addition to that I am going to look into transferring some of my carvings and paintings to electronic image. Then use them for card covers. I'll need to get going on an actual website for my projects too. connected to a paypal account. It would have to have the ability to accept credit card purchases too.

If you feel so moved. I am looking for sponsors. This is not a plea for monetary values. Perhaps you would love to support me with prayer and meditations? That in my mind would far outweigh money. Perhaps you have skills that can advice me on how to achieve my goals? Eventually I hope to have a core circle that would help keep me in check. I think that often Ministers fall. because they loose sight of the important things. It is my sincere desire to have a teachable spirit. I may not always agree with what someone says too! But I pray for the discernment to know the difference. I long to be "above reproach." Living my life as an example. leaving behind those things that would cause another to fall. I probably will meet a few people at my church that would be interested.

I suppose the fact that you have read this. It is support in itself.
thank you

peace and blessings
Red Dragon

Tags: Action, time, change, writing, music, song, ministry, art, artwork, arts, book

I found my spiritual house, I came home.

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 22:46:17 GMT

Yesterday we had our first snowstorm. It lasted throughout the night. But yesterday afternoon the senior minister's wife called. She said that there was a very good chance that services might get canceled. Booooo! LOL

I was so well rehearsed and ready to play. So I prayed about it. I asked that the storm would let off enough for folk to get to church and home. Now I'm not going to tell you I am a prophet. This was something any other person would do. Spirit answers prayer.

I woke up before the alarm did. I was already up for a good hour or so. Then I got out of bed and set the coffee pot on. went and took care of my hygiene needs. came out of the shower dressed and went into prayer. Today was to be my debut performance at our services.

Then I put my things together. I had my guitar and my satchel. Then shortly after 7am the doorbell rang. It was my ride for church. I hadn't received a call that church was canceled. So I made absolutely sure that I would be ready. should my ride show up at the door. sure enough she was there.

When we arrived at our interfaith church, the parking lot had not been plowed yet. Not even ten minutes later the plow showed up. I went into the sanctuary to warm my guitar up. Then did some vocal warm ups. prepared myself by centering myself in prayer/meditation. I tuned my guitar. Then my ride brought me some water. Perfect!

For the 8:30 services, I am not sure that there was even twenty people present. I played two songs during that service. An original piece that I wrote a few weeks ago. It is called Peace be still. I told this service that I was looking to change my name. I also mentioned my favorite bible verse Zechariah 9:12 "turn to the stronghold prisoner of hope, for even today will I give you double." You can find peace be still in my earlier blog entries. There is a video there too. I also performed a song I transposed. It was originally a blue grass gospel band. They were called the McKamey's. The song was G*d on the mountain.

Then after services I took a few minutes to freshen up before the 10:30 services. During this service I was able to do three songs total. First the before mentioned songs. Then I Did "glory glory" for my finale. It was a hit because everyone was singing right along with me.

I could tell that my loud boomy voice was reaching people. After service I had many tell me that they were amazed at my voice. I was grateful and very honored to have been able to do this for them. It was a little overwhelming at times. I endure P.T.S.D. , this was an important step for me. To sit on a stool before a large group and play from my soul.

After services I was flooded with praise from various members. One member mentioned that he thought I was the epitome of hope. I started crying, I was humbled. I thanked him so much. Come to think of it I teared up a few times before and during my songs. I am grateful that I can experience the pure peace of Spirit. Never being ashamed of that power and holiness that flooded over me. I am not Holy by myself, but it is that which is in me that is bigger...

I am so incredibly happy right now. I was at a friends house a little bit later on in the day. I started cracking up and laughing. I couldn't contain myself. The power of peace was there in me. I've been through some rough times of late. I am so glad that I was not without hope during my times of crisis. I am quite sure I would not be here writing this blog to you. A year ago I planned on taking my life. But spirit told me no. I have a greater purpose for you. So I went and got the professional medical help needed.

Then went for the spiritual help too. It was during this spiritual help experience that I now can honestly say. I feel like I have come in out of the cold. the harsh mistress of the world. A world of chaos in my cosmic dance. It spiraled my depression and I became quit ill. Today I am much better, I have been slowly building up to all of this. To finally achieve my purpose in life. To play music for others and invoke hope and peace, faith and Love. These are the key missing ingredients to all the hype that we are inundated with daily. That deep within ourselves. In the silence, there is peace.

Is Spirit done with me? Of course not, I am well aware that Spirit has a lot of work to do in me. But it is one heck of a nice first step. This whole experience has given me a new vision. I am going to be more dedicated than before on producing a cd/dvd I have enough songs to do two separate themes. One deeply spiritual. The other spiritual, but more of a secular writing style. I think they compliment each other well.

I apologize for the long winded length of this particular entry. But I had so much to say in one breath! Breath red dragon, breath....

I truly hope you have peace and know the stillness of being calm.
Peace and Blessings
Red Dragon

Tags: Spirit, Church, Song, Music, sermon, happy, joy, sorow, love, peace, quiet

World Aids Day

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 18:48:39 GMT

WORLD AIDS DAY

This day is a day for me to remember some really incredible people I have known. They were cut down in the prime of their lives. The dreams that they were achieving and becoming was powerful. So many beautiful people who have died because of a modern day plague.

I long for the day when hiv/aids is no longer considered a threat to humanity. This war on the human species is not as far ahead as it should be. There are still people suffering physically because of this serious illness.

I am very grateful for the tremendous discoveries in this particular field. Today hiv/aids is not necessarily a death sentence. The medications that are available have come a long way. I am sure an hiv/aids patient could tell you a lot more about this topic than I could ever hope to do.

So today I honor all the fallen souls who died because of this disease. I lift those living with the infection up in my prayers and meditations. I give freely to those who live with those who have died or are living with the disease.

I pray and hope for a cure. I long and wish for preventative medicines. I hope there comes a day, where we no longer have a world aids day.

May this become history

Tags: world, aids, day, peace, hiv, HIV, AIDS, illness, recovery, love, compassion

Last Night: My Kirtan Experience; it prepared me for Sunday...

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 17:33:47 GMT

Greetings

Last night my Interfaith church held Kirtan Circle. I have to tell you this experience was a huge blessing and confirmation. I had never heard of Kirtan, or at least had no understanding of what it is. I'm still learning what is involved. I can tell you that Spirit was definitely there. The power that resonated from all of us, and through us was very energetic.

Later at my home. A couple of acquaintances dropped in. The could feel the power radiating from me. The energy definitely increased my aura's projection. I was confident and bold. Feeling centered and full of the light of love.

I know things happen for a reason. I felt led to this particular meeting. I played my guitar along with another. a young sister was on base. Her father was playing percussion. I'm not sure what the musical instrument another guy had. but it made some rather intense sounds. It basically was an small piano instrument. It had knobs that you pulled for different pitches. on the back it had a fan that he pushed and pulled. All while playing the keys on the instrument. Very unique indeed. There were a handful of other folk present. Some just chanted the various chants. These being very ancient mantras for oneness with divinity. Others played various percussion instruments.

The whole experience was intense. At one point I was given the opportunity to do a different style. My chant is more native American sounding. None the less the facilitator heard and felt it. He was able to take the energy through me. Then spread it out through the circle present. very cool indeed.

This experience helped me. I will be able to walk into church Sunday morning with confidence. It is my debut performance for special music. I will be doing two songs in the first service and three songs in the second service. I am so looking forward to being spirits vessel tomorrow. I truly feel that some powerful things will happen in me. This is a life changing event for me. I am ready.

Wow what a powerful night. I look forward to the next one in four weeks.

Peace and Blessings
Red Dragon

Tags: Kirtan, Music, Sound, vibration, spirit, spiritual, interfaith, inter-faith, church, song, kundalini

Rigid Thinking

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 16:29:46 GMT

Today I was reminded how easy it is to leave out the brush-strokes in mental pictures. Yes my ideas and thoughts are paintings of what I dream about. But the thing to remember is my opinions may not include the entire scope. I appreciate zaadz for that. I am able to look in on other peoples thoughts and concepts and decide if it is good for me.

Today I popped onto Adam's biog. In it he has an entry that speaks about Voting Issues. This has been a very near and dear topic to me for years. I have always been rigid in thinking that ALL Americans should vote. In his document, He mentions things I never even considered.

One is that there is a percentage of American's. Whose religious doctrine forbids them from voting. This may seem to be Anti Government. Truth be told, it is a true and accurate demonstration of democracy. Either we have a free choice of religion and the right to abstain from voting. I would think that forcing everyone to vote would turn us into a draconian nation. The very thing we claim to be against. Another aspect mentioned by Adam. Was that if Everyone was forced to vote. Then some would be going against their conscious and may vote for people out of spite or a lie. Spite being to skew the turnout. A lie in casting a vote for someone you don't agree with.

My whole point of all of this is rigid thinking. I use to get very upset at voter turnout being low. It frustrated me that there are people who don't vote. I even considered that you loose your citizenship for the term of the election. This fellow zaadzter opened my eyes to another way of thinking. I have discussed this issue at great lengths with friends and colleagues in real time. Not one of them made the points that I just read on Zaadz.

Grateful that I have a teachable spirit
Peace and Blessings
Red Dragon

Tags: rigind, thinking, core, values, teaching, mind, logic, education, knowledge, wisdom

Protection from Cyber Bullies?

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 16:28:23 GMT

There is a little known criminal behavior that has been added to the telecommunications act. It's design is meant to protect the Internet user from anonymous harassment via the Internet. I feel that this is an important law. The writer of this document was the target of harassment by a thief and criminal. This individual received Ten years in Wisconsin prisons. There was a stipulation that he could not contact any of his victims. He had another ten years added to his time. The person who I speak of had threatened my life with fire. I took this very seriously. I am glad that this became Federal Law in January of 2006. Today one can receive up to two years in prison for this crime.

This Law is a good thing, it protects the rights of individuals. It is my own personal practice to never mention anyones legal name on the Internet. When I write a blog entry, I make sure that they can't point fingers at me. I leave the statements to generalizations rather than specific names. I find this to be an appropriate measure of self maintenance. Part of the reason why I won't mention names. I don't believe in speaking against an individual. If I write I am speaking about the incident and how I coped with the situation. This is a way for me to overcome mental exhaustion in tough times. I write about the events, not the individuals. This is key to my own mental health.

Opponents to it want to claim that it is a violation of free speech. Yes freedom of speech is important. However if the design and intent of that free speech is to harass another person with malicious motivations. That no longer is freedom of speech. One should always be careful of slander and Character assassination. The lines get blurred by many an individual. I have noticed on web sites blatant illegal activities. No one has the right to threaten or cyber bully another person into submission. This is abuse, not freedom of speech. I was visiting the forums on craigslist.org for a short while. There was often very inflammatory anonymous postings by individuals who think they are safe from legal issues. This is not the case. You can be fined and imprisoned for such passive aggressive actions. A couple of months ago, I was harassed in a chat room. Had I known at the time about this Law. I would have gone after the individual. I am fairly certain that it was an former lover. I can tell you that my tolerance of being harassed just became active. In the past I just put him on ignore. In the future I will seek out ways to bind the hands of my accuser permanently. The funny thing about this law. Apparently if you tell that person who you are, it no longer is criminal action. My suspicion at that point is you can file restraining orders against the individual. An abusive personality desires to never give up that control over another. They will do everything possible to slander and demean an individual. These cowards have used the Internet long enough to attack people. This Law is a good thing.

I myself plan on using this law to my benefit. Should the need arise and someone decides to harass me. Always remember no matter what you do on the Internet. There is a permanent record. You leave an electronic footprint everywhere you go. You may fool yourself into thinking your a technology guru and have hidden your identity. There have been many Internet virus terrorists who were arrested in a matter of days. Think about it, is your future really worth going out of your way to demean a person.

Seattle Times
The Language Artist
The Law Tech Guru
Create an e annooyance
pdf of the law

Tags: Cyber, Bullies, Internet, pseudonym, nicknames

Playing for my interfaith church this sunday

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 20:22:37 GMT

I posted this in another networking site. But put the wrong date, it is actually December 2nd. This will be a large crowd. I haven't done this level of public address in a very long time. There are two services on Sunday mornings. I'll be doing two songs in the early service. and three songs in the late morning service. This is a big deal for me. To be able to play from my soul without pretending to be someone else. It is a powerful thing. I suffer from P.T.S.D. so for me to get up there is to face some rather large demons. It wasn't that long ago that just attending services was frightening.

I am so grateful that today a year after being in a really dark space. I am finally reaching for my true self and becoming what was intended of me from the beginning. Tonight and tomorrow I am attending a Church orientation with senior minister. He is an awesome man, so compassionate and non judgmental. I can only hope to be a sliver of that holiness.

I will be doing an original piece called "peace be still," and two covers that are old spirituals. One was recorded by the McKamey's "G-d on the mountain." Another is Glory, Glory, a version of this was done by the Byrds. I transposed both covers to fit my key and strumming style on guitar.

What a crazy web we weave. A year ago I was at my whit's end, ready to cash my chips in once and for all. But Spirit wouldn't allow that. I was led/directed to psych ward at veteran's hospital. I really didn't wan't to live anymore. I was tired of hurting every day, tired of being lied to by my partner. tired of being mentally and physically assaulted by him too. So I collapsed with exhaustion after a three day stay in county jail. with no clothes and in a dirty cell. I lost my mind, I was severely defeated and a broken man. I broke down crying about every twenty minutes for much of the last year. Only recently has it gotten better, I still cry. Just not all the time.

Today I can tell you that I am here because of that relationship with my higher power. This sunday I will be celebrating my own holiness, my own virtue, my own G-d. What an honor to serve and be blessed at the same time. To truly be one with everything that is suppose to be at that precise location. Without being fragmented, in a very direct and centered place. Spirit working on me and through me to the congregation. Wow what a blessing!

Tags: Music, Gods call, ministry, vessel, spirit, spiritual, interfaith, church, guitar, vocals

Interpretation, an example of being wrong

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 17:58:47 GMT

So often our perceptions can be very wrong and off the mark. I give you my poor eyesight as an example. Just recently I had my scripts for new glasses filled. But I still don't see things very clearly. I was in dialog with Lisha on zaadz. I thought her profile picture was a androgynous being sitting in the lotus position. It couldn't have been further from the truth. I was looking right at this picture. But somehow I only saw what I thought was there. Upon closer inspection I discovered it was a picture of wonder woman, with her arms up in defensive position. Crazy how our mind can play tricks on us at times.

Which leads me into Core Values and interpretations or perceptions. On one of the pods there was a discussion on how you handle disagreements. I think the number one cause for alarm is. Do we engage someone to point out the error of their ways? Who made our own core values more superior than the next persons? I cannot accept that we are right and they are wrong. I think it is more along the lines of actions that make the true value of a being. Words are merely a mirage of what reality truly is. Language is a complex beast that has two heads. She can never go anywhere unless both sides are in agreement. otherwise one going one way and another going another stops her right in place. This is what I refer to as static core values. I am this way or that and You can't change me! Rigid thinking often is the result of a conflict. This is merely my own observation mind you.

I think there is a positive way and a negative way to stress the importance of disagreements. We all can raise the bar in our own little world. But try and fix another person. No thank you, I have no interest in having disciples. I'm often amazed at how people have to add their two cents in areas that have nothing to do with the actual course of the event. I find it odd when I present an issue, and someone wants to critique rather than help.

Recently I have had the dilemma of wishing to change my name legally. There are a number of reasons for this. All of them lead to the same answer. For my personal safety, I wish to change my name. Rather than helping me with the presented equation. Which was that I wish to change my surname. People started saying I was bandaging the real issues. I considered that to be offensive. None of them knew what I had been doing for quite some time. But yet wanted to discuss my mental health and family issues. I've had around thirty years to mediate on this issue. I feel its time for the change. The question had nothing to do with my family. Simply put, it was that I wished to change my name. That was lost and I found myself having to explain myself. In retrospect, I don't think that was a very fair assumption on others part. Their core values decided to offer advice in an area, that I don't need advice in. I am seeking professional help in those areas. it is kind of like the neighborhood person who diagnoses everyone's cold. but has no license to practice medicine.

I seek out advice appropriate to the venue I am operating in. If my body hurts, I go to my NP. When my mind hurts I go to mental health professionals. When my soul is in turmoil I go to religious leaders. I could never rely on lay-mens ideas about these issues. That would be a very dangerous path for anyone to take. Please don't get upset with me. Understand that I was asking for specific ideas about a name. not how my mental health was. that is the frustration. someone's core value had to question my own core values. neither is right, nor wrong. Sometimes it is best not to challenge those beliefs.

I'm not saying that those responders to my post methods were wrong either. I can't stress that enough. language and interpretation of that language is difficult in person. Even more so in an electronic forum.

Another example, I was playing a song for a friend of mine. He immediately started critiquing the song. I didn't need his advice, I already knew what he was speaking about. The song was only two weeks old and still in its evolution process. I hadn't asked him for his advice, I was just excited to play something that I was going to be playing on December 2nd. I love this friend dearly, but he tends to meddle with others lives, in areas that no one asked for. Then he gets mad because he waisted his time. I myself use to do this a lot, I've done my best to avoid this nasty trap. Not everyone needs to be fixed. We all have tremendous potential within us to overcome and endure anything that happens to us. What we do with it, that is another thing entirely.

I'm not so sure about challenging another's core values. Unless they are about to inflict great harm on another, or on if they are about to hurt themselves. Let them grow at their own pace. I have a friend in the neighborhood who drinks excessively on a daily basis. I've mentioned to him on more than one occasion that he is getting to old for such behaviors. That is all I can do, plant the seed. I can't change his actions, he will continue to destroy his liver of his own free will. I wish I could shake him. But he has to learn that for himself. Last June I quite Cigarettes. It was a most difficult task to master. But in the end only I could overcome the habit. I knew it was bad for me all along. I just chose to do it anyway. That is where the danger is, in fooling the self. Like I said before, No one can show another that answer. Change comes from within.

Peace and Blessings
Red Dragon

Tags: Interpretation, core values, beliefs, judgement, argument, discussion, peace, kindness

Take only what you need

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 17:14:43 GMT

Less is more

A year ago I have done my best to whittle away at frivolous things. I canceled my cable service. Refusing to pay such high prices for commercially driven airtime. At the time it was around a hundred dollar a month saving. Moore's Law says that every eighteen months all technology doubles. Hence it should get cheaper to produce and maintain. The cable industry has inflated its prices far beyond the costs involved for the technology. This is a sad truth, Americans have been duped into believing they need that cable television.

I have always believed in the less is more mentality. Minimalism in everything you do. I was a weird kid, I enjoyed reading mother earth news magazine. This was twenty years before the word "green" became a household word. Growing up often I was reminded that most things I didn't need. I purely wanted those items, but I never really needed them. Today when I look around I see excess everywhere. Even in my home town, we pride ourselves on being ahead of the curve. Yet most of us absolutely must own a car. Even if it is a Hybrid!

Food consumption is another thing that is way overboard in our culture. Obesity is becoming the number one killer. Growing up you saw one out of ten overly overweight person. Now days you see two out of ten that are thin. When we consume all that food, we are taking more than what we need. Someone has to pay another person to plant the food. Many resources are waisted from fuel costs to environment. The lands are strained, because of industrial farms. Processed foods have been the trend for some time now. Growing up we had a very large garden and grew our foods organically. Today most food that you get at the grocery stores have been sprayed with some type of pesticides or chemicals. I wonder when we will start seeing illness that is linked to the so called "tobacco pesticide" it is used on food crops. It has been suggested as one of the causes of colony collapse among bee hives. Next year since I live in an apartment, I am going to try and grow my own crops in garbage cans for urban jungle relief. It is getting to be to expensive to purchase food because of fuel costs alone!

In October of 2007, I made further cuts in my life. I learned that Rupert Murdoch owned MySpace.com. I deleted my profile on that particular site. In addition to this I no longer will read publications owned by him. I have also deleted fox air channel from my television set. This hurt a lot because I enjoy the Simpsons much. A friend of mine told me that Simpsons had a contract with fox that they can't be censored. I'm not so sure about that. In any case the station is still owned by this man. I cannot sit idle and watch this man gobble up freedom of speech.

Environmentally I don't need the latest fashion trend. nor do I own a big screen t.v., I find it a lot easier when the world is simple. Right now my Television is a "curb score." Someone threw it out as trash. Yeah it has some lines going across the picture. But it is functional. Currently I am able to keep my bills manageable. I have a lot of debt from things over the last decade. I am working on getting rid of my immediate debt. Then I can pay off the larger debt and live without worry. I can't spend more than my resources allow. My greatest debt is a car accident I was in, prior to that, I didn't understand the importance of it. Now that I have a 22k debt from an accident I didn't cause. I know better, and until I start making payments on it. My driving privileges have been revoked. Then on top of that I have another 10k debt that was the result of an overpriced college that I attended. Sometimes the most expensive is not the best. Herzing definitely fits that bill. You would do a lot better at M.A.T.C. or University. I do owe on some smaller debt that I am trying to get rid of, it totals around 2k. When that smaller amount is gone, I can move onto the bigger debts.

When I am doing my music. I do my best to keep things minimal. I find that if you try to hard at it. It won't fit the groove you are trying to create. So I've done my best to keep things simple and free flowing. This has worked a lot for me. I've done the front man in a big band thing before. It can be a cacophony of noise rather than a melding of souls.

I hear a lot of folk complaining about everyone else. Saying things like "were doomed," because of Global Warming. Yes I think it is a very real problem. But the answer lies within. Not what everyone else is doing. But what are we doing to stop environmental disaster? As a Gay Man I never understood why Marlboro Lights, were the favored cigarette. Money from every pack goes into anti gay agendas. Boycotting a product sometimes is the only answer to the problems. If everyone stopped shopping at wal-mart or toysrus, then toxic toys in the states would fade away. recently I went through my home and removed every item that had "made in china" stamped on it. We have got to stop supporting the major contributers of bad environmental standards. I do my shopping exclusively from "mom and pop" shops. I avoid the big box stores, they rarely are the great deal, they pretend to be.

I am looking at buying a sewing machine soon too. I wish to make my own clothes, rather than purchase something that was made in another country. A friend of mine once said that when I don't have something that I tend to build it. He was fairly accurate there, I don't like spending all that money on things I don't need. If I can make something myself, then that is what I plan on doing. Generally when I build for myself. It is cheaper and stronger than something store purchased.

If we all did our part, only taking what we need....

take care
Red Dragon

Tags: minimalist, consume, energy, food, farm, industrial, industry, fashion, technology, babylon, obesity

finally will be playing in a church

http://ruaddragun.gaia.com — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 02:37:34 GMT

It has been a long time coming. Spirit willing, I will be playing three songs for two services on Sunday December 2nd. I have been rehearsing daily. This is a normal behavior for me. I generally rehearse up to two and three times a day.

Some time ago, I told myself I wouldn't flinch when approached. I just put it in the Spirit's hands. I had no anxiety about playing or anticipation. I knew it wouldn't be long before I was to be called on. I decided that when asked, I would accept any dates. That way when presented with a date. I wouldn't become nervous or apprehensive. I was asked if December 2nd was to soon if I could be ready. I said I would be ready. I had come to a conclusion in meditation that one never is ready, and yet they are always prepared. Especially since I rehearse my songs daily.

I wasn't sure yesterday, but now I am fairly certain which songs i'm doing. "Peace be still", is an original song. I'm currently working on a cover by the McKamey's "G*d on the mountain." Another cover I am working on is "Glory Glory" recorded by the Byrds. At first I thought I would do some vocals without instruments. But since It is my first time, I'm going to work with what is comfortable.

It is such an honor and privilege to play for services. This has been a huge step for me. I have physical limitations. I have been on a recovery path with my mental health too. A year ago today I was a stuttering wreck. The nightmares are becoming less frequent. I still wake up in the middle of the night. Just not every hour like I use to. Besides myself, Spirit is all I have to rely on.

Finally I will be doing what I am called to do. It is an honor to serve in music.

Tags: Spirit, church, interfaith, music, ministry, love, McKameys